Are you friends with your subconsciousness yet? You know, that part of your brain that controls how you act and speak? Have you guys even met before?

Your subconsciousness largely determines your behavior, your feelings, your associations and your character. It represents 90% of who you are!

Have you always felt that there was something in the way of becoming who you want to be? Well, that too was your subconsciousness, probably trying to defend you from re-experiencing pain you’ve encountered in the past.


The Battle of the Consciousness


A battle between the conscious mind and the subconscious mind

Sounds like a Hollywood blockbuster, doesn’t it? Let me explain what I mean here.

At a conscious level you may feel confident, but you’re often overwhelmed by uncertainty and doubt. A part of you wants to meet certain standards, but it often doesn’t align with how we function in reality. You know you don’t have to be afraid, but you still feel intense fear somehow.

In these moments there is an inner contradiction between our consciousness and our subconsciousness. This inner struggling can be mentally paralyzing, frustrating, painful even, and can possibly destroy your productivity altogether.

But luckily everyone can grow, develop and find inner peace within the self. But in order to do so, the different facets of your personality must work together instead of against each other.

Personally, I think that making a friendship with your subconscious mind – with all that automatic functioning going on on a daily basis – ultimately means a friendship with yourself. It also means a friendship with your body. After all, your subconscious mind is literally also your body in some respects.

In this article I will give you tips to enter dialogues with your subconscious mind. They will help you enter into a close cooperation. Eventually, your conscious thinking and your subconscious mind can work harmoniously together, organizing your life according to your personal wishes.


1. Visualize your subconsciousness as a young child


A 7 year old child that represents your subconscious mind
Read also: How to Change Your Self Image with Visualization?

Actually, you can see your subconsciousness as a 7-year-old younger brother or sister. This child is very intelligent, and can do a lot more than you think, but it’s still not fully developed yet.

At a young age, a child develops different strategies to be in contact with the environment. Next to food and shelter, a child also needs attention, love, acceptance and safety.

What do you do when a child comes to you who is scared? You shout at it? You criticize that his behavior is not satisfactory? That he should not stand up for himself? That he should shut up and get lost? Of course not! But believe it or not, this is how some people treat themselves.

Instead of yelling at the child, you ask what’s going on. You reassure the child, you help it and take care of it. You give information, so that the child can learn step by step and better deal with similar situations in the future.

As adults, we sometimes think we have it all figured out. But we don’t. And that ‘7-year-old’ needs your help. But you don’t do that by criticizing yourself, or by feeling inferior to others. Receive your subconsciousness with love and support. Truly listen to what’s going on inside you.

Exercise: Think about it for a minute. What feels wrong lately? What do you feel deep down? What do you really need? Enter a dialogue with your subconsciousness and work together to resolve it.



2. Be patient with your subconsciousness

Just like children, your subconsciousness also needs time to develop. It can learn quickly but not immediately. Implement things step by step.

Realize that people often overestimate what they can achieve within one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years. You don’t have to solve it all right away.

Think of it as a journey! A long and exciting journey of growing wiser and stronger.


A long journey within yourself - to discover yourself and be free from negative beliefs

3. Don’t compare yourself with others

I know, I know. It’s a cliche. And easier said than done, right? But still, it’s necessary!

The whole world wants you to behave accordingly. Perhaps the worst of all is the media, from television to Instagram.

Media often tells you – more or less indirectly – how things should be, how we should behave and what our lives should look like.

This can be very discouraging as it causes us to feel imperfect in comparison to all those ‘perfect life’s’ on our feeds.

But you know what? Only compare yourself with yesterday! It doesn’t matter where you are in life. Everyone’s point of departure is different, as is the destination.

You will discover that – as soon as you compare yourself to yourself only – you will find real fulfillment in it.

Progress in your own development is the key to happiness.

Read also: 9 Steps to Fulfilling Your Dreams That Others Often Overlook


A locked door that can be opened by self-improvement, the key to happines

4. Honor and appreciate yourself

Have fun with yourself! Your creative side, your playful side, your sensitive side, your nasty side and even your stupid side. It gives you and your life color.

Pay attention consciously to all those things that make you the person that others want to chat with.

Give space to that inner child without judging. It’s good to reserve moments for that, so make sure you have free time.



5. Make a pact with your subconscious mind

Once you’ve accepted that you’re still a small child in some aspects – one with an enormous and inexhaustible learning capacity – you can create a team of your conscious thinking and your subconscious mind together.

See your inner world as a conference table. One where all your different facets, such as your rational thinking, your automatic functioning, your emotions and your creative side, are welcome and heard.

Whenever you feel bad, head over to the conference table and listen. Help and reflect. The core of this is that you enter into an open and empathic dialogue with yourself.


An old medieval conference table specifically designed for you to have dialogues with your subconsciousness.

6. Ask yourself clear questions

Your subconscious mind may not have all knowledge available, but it’s very creative and powerful. It loves instructions and is happy to implement them. So ask good questions and give clear assignments to yourself.

A question is like a seed that you plant in fertile soil. Your subconsciousness almost always finds an answer, but you have to ask the right questions first. So ask questions that force a positive answer.

Here are a few examples: How can I lose 20 kilos and have a lot of fun at the same time? Or: How can I increase my confidence significantly?

Write down these kind of constructive questions and read them every now and then. Literally ask your subconscious mind to answer this. Then you let go of the whole topic and you don’t think about it anymore. You don’t have to think rationally about it. Your conscious thinking is usually too limited for that anyway.

Within a short amount of time, sometimes a few hours, sometimes a night’s sleep, sometimes after a week or more, ideas will come to mind, spontaneously. You will find answers to these questions, it will be the answers that really help you.

You will find that this way of communicating will greatly help your conscious appreciation for your subconscious mind. You start to develop trust and friendship. You really start working together.

I hope this information has been helpful to you. I wish you all the best with your own journey of self-improvement. To retrieve positivity and joy.

But above all, to love yourself again.


Questions about becoming friends with your subconsciousness?

Do you have any questions about becoming best friend with your subconsciousness?

Iā€™m here to help. You can contact me by sending an email to info@hypnobuddy.com


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